“Through prayer one can reach everything.."

“Through prayer one can reach everything.."

Rebbe Nachman

 

So ok some of you know my situation, some don't some for those of you who don't let me fill you in. In my last post I talked of be in a good place and just trying to keep extra mitzvot etc... I have been trying very hard to be balanced. Here is the thing, I don't want to just keep extra mitzvot! I want to be a Jew! A Jew! I want Hashem! The closet possible way! I want to share in the convenent! But what am I to do? I don't want to leave my family? I don't believe Hashem would want that! I want to convert and it feels as if Hashem is pulling me in that direction! But how can Hashem be telling me to opposite things? When they cannot co-exist together? I dunno... been alot going on with me latley. I feel like a roller coaster of emotions from day to day, hour to hour and even minute to minute! But I read this today in the book Saba refered to as Holy of Holies "Histapchut HaNefesh",

•  For the main point of Judaism is total simplicity and innocence, without any sophistication, as we have explained many times.
 
• “Through prayer one can reach everything, to all the good: Torah and service and all holiness and all forms of service and all the good in all the worlds.”

Also a friend responded in a email I sent him about a similuar somwhat relatated subject and he had this to say,

 

"maybe what is in your control is to at least try to remember that Hashem wants you to try to serve Him with happiness with who you are right now and where you are right now. This is exactly what Rabbi Nachman says! He told this to one of his followers who was all alone living among Gentiles. Hashem put you there for a reason. Therefore you can serve Him from there!" & "Hashem wants our effort. The outcome is not in our hands. The effort is the main thing."

 

I know this is probabaly defintly right, but I want more. Even if I can serve Hashem from here how can I serve him so far away, when all I want is to be close? Great advice from a friend. Hard to apply when I want Hashem so much more.. but one cannot be Holy over night... it takes time and patience.. Hashem give me the patience to wait!

 

And most of all help to learn; “Through prayer one can reach everything, to all the good: Torah and service and all holiness and all forms of service and all the good in all the worlds".

 

I love you all nanachs! Hashem's presence dwell upon you!

 

Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman!

 

Yaakov