Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Dream of the Waves

"I was in the sea, and there were huge waves, like mountains."
-Saba Yisroel-
….. I was in the sea, and there were huge waves, like mountains. I saw that a mountain of water was coming toward me, a real mountain, and it came straight toward me with a fury. I said, “Oi vey, in a few moments it wi...ll reach me, what will be of me, I’ll die, there’s no hope. I’ll die!” That’s how it was. It came raging at me, with great speed, coming to kill me. It fell on me and I was in total despair. But then I saw that I was rising, until I reached the surface and stuck my head out and could breathe. I was still alive. Alright, the wave passed and I was still alive, but then I saw a new mountain coming, a new wave. What will be now, one cannot expect miracles to happen on a regular basis, so what will become of me now? Well, the way it came at me, it did not ask me, it came at me and fell upon me – a new mountain. Again there was a miracle, and I rose up through the water, until I poked my head from the water and remained alive. Well, good, I was saved twice. But the sea was stormy and new waves were coming. “What will become of me, what will this come to?” I sensed the danger, such waves, such mountains, and felt hopeless. I saw the danger, and each time it was a miracle, how I rose above the waves. I would rise through the water until I reached the surface and popped my head out, remaining alive. But I kept thinking, ‘Who knows what will be next?’ I saw and felt the danger of my situation. Such a dream….Suddenly, I see a great building in the sea, not far from me. A large, beautiful building, such beauty….. I said, ‘What, how could this be? Are there buildings in the sea?’ I could not see a thing aside from the waves, and suddenly I saw a building, glorious and large. I was astonished – ‘How could it be? Is it possible for a building to be in the sea?’ But there it was. I thought, ‘Perhaps this is a sign that I will be saved from the water. If there is a building, perhaps I will be able to reach it.’ I made enormous efforts, but could not reach the building. I was already right beside it, and a wave came and pulled me away, distancing me from the building. ‘What will be? I have a place of refuge but I cannot reach it, I don’t have the strength to reach the building, there’s no chance of making it. It’s right next to me, and I cannot reach it.’ Until finally I succeeded. I made a supreme effort and managed to touch the edge of the building (ma’ake – check translation). Only after I had finally grasped the (ma’ake), I felt ‘Now, thank G-d, I can climb up the stairs of the building. There is no sea, no waves, nothing, now I have hope!” So I climbed. There were many steps, and I held onto the railing and ascended with great joy. Every minute was precious beyond measure. I had merited to emerge from such danger, and was now on the stairs of a building! I climbed up the stairs until reaching the end, until reaching the entrance of the building. I reached the entrance, opened the door, and entered into a corridor. On one side there were fine-looking windows,and on the other side was a wall with doors. I came to the first door and wated to open it to see what was there. However, I did not open it, not intentionally, but I did not open it. I said to myself, ‘What? Why didn’t I open it?’ I thought, ‘This time I will open, there are many doors here.’ So I went on, and again reached a door, and again did not open it. I was angry with myself, ‘Why didn’t you open the door?’ I passed by all the doors in this manner, I went on wanting to open, and each time did not. Such a dream….. Until I reached the last door left in the building. I came to the last door, and opened it. I saw a room….. There was a table and chair, and on the chair sat a very old man with a beard – the beard was so beautiful, so white, with such grace…… Also his overall appearance, his face, had a grace not seen in this world – such sweetness. I felt very embarrassed. I saw this elderly man and I saw his face, and I felt very embarrassed and humbled. ‘What right do I have to be in this room and gaze on such a man, what right?’ I wanted to greet the man, but I did not find the courage. ‘To greet him, I feel far from being able. What merit do I have, that I could greet him? How can I find the arrogance to greet this man?’ In any case, the man extended his hand to me and greeted me, grasping my hand firmly and with great love, shaking it. “Shalom Aleichem.” He continued holding my hand with great love, with warm closeness. I did not have the confidence. But he did it himself, so what could I do? I accepted it. Then I woke up.
-Saba Yisroel-

Anyone have any thoughts, comments ideas etc... they want to share? please do.. I thought of somthing what do you think was behind all the other doors? 

Saturday, January 12, 2013


Truth is often grey, and deceit is full of splendour.
-Abraham J. Heschel-


What is Truth? And at what cost should one seek truth? At the cost of all things should truth prevail? At the cost of our loved ones? At the cost of our own lives? How important is it? Is it the highest importance? Is truth greater then faith? Is love greater then truth? Which is the highest good? And what determines Truth? Can truth be two opposites?

Its 12:48 am. I am awake, sitting by the heater on the kitchen floor, writting this on my laptop... I know questions like these cannot be easlily answered... Honestly I just started writting... As I started to write these questions above I couldn't help but think, I hope the reader will not be execting me to give answers to these questions. But then why am I writting them? Can anyone answer them? and if they did would I be satisfied with there answers? And if not does that mean I already know the answers? Or maybe it is because the answer is there is no answer.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Saba, Our light in a world of darkness.

Saba, Our light in a world of darkness.

You need to remember very very well, all the days of your life, each and every day, the great kindness of G-d that He did with you and caused awesome events to happen in His hidden ways to draw you near to the True Tzaddik. Who extracted you from the place he extracted you. And he informs you that G-d still is close to you and that He will not abandon His kindness to you forever. And even though you still are undergoing what you are undergoing, even so certainly the kindness and good that G-d  has done with you is not in vain, G-d forbid, And in the end G-d will finish His and you will merit to return to your source in perfection, in the great stength and merit of the Tzaddik, for the word of G-d lasts forever.
-Saba Hamelech-

we must know Sabas letters are for each of us individually. We must read them knowing this is to me personally from Saba.