Friday, November 9, 2012
Blah...Blah..Blah... Restore my soul please!
When a person falls from his level he should know that this is sent from Heaven.
The purpose of the apparent rejection is to draw him closer. The reason for the fall is to spur the person to make even greater efforts to draw closer to God.
The thing to do is to make an entirely new start. Start serving God as if you had never started in your whole life. This is one of the most basic principles of serving God. We must literally begin all over again every day.
Likutey Moharan I, 261
Latley everything feels so grey! So Blah! I feel like I am slowly dying inside! That I am losing hope! Like my dreams will never come through. I will never be a Jew and never live in Israel! Maybe G-d doesn't want me I dunno. Suprisingly as depressing as this sounds I feel ok about it. Really I do. I am not depressed, Everything just feels so blah! blah! So grey! lacking color and excitment! I am very much trying to hang on, but I feel my grip slipping! G-d pleae give me strength to hang on! I don't know that I would call it depression, just a lack, a hole somthing empty... The fire in me is or feels like it is buring out. I don't want this! I don't want it at all! I grasping for anything to hang on too! I am reading all the books possible listinening to all the music (which I have already listned to a million times in depserate need of more!) I am trying, to hang on! I even made designated study times and matierial to be more disicplined! I truly am ok, I just feel like part of me is missing, is dead, or dying, G-d please bring it back to life... Until then I am waiting..., and hoping...G-d Restore my soul!
Thanks my friends for listnening