PLEASE HELP ME GET TO JERUSALEM!!!!

I have been into Judaism now for several years the last 4 of them has been all nanach. I desperatly want to convert to Orthodox Judaism and have been burning with desire to get to Jerusalem for years now. The tickets are very expensive and specially when I have a big family to take care of. I am married with 5 children. I work full time and  go to college. I live in the USA in Oregon Anything Helps it is my hearts desire to get to Jerusalem. I believe it is time to get on that plane but I need your help. Please help me get to Jerusalem and persue Hashem in the holy land and G-d willing convert and make alyiah...  I am almost there, I want this with every part of my soul!!!! Its all I could ever dream of!!!! I'm going alone and going to live off faith in Hashem for food and sleep... Please if you can help me in anyway even a small donation I would be forever grateful!!!!! It would make all my dreams come true!!! Anything helps even if its only $20... Thank you to all who can help and even those who cant but pray for me! Prayer is the highest! Love. NaNach!

Please Check this out and help if possible! CLICK HERE

Sitting Here in Limbo, Like a Bird Without a Song

 

sitting here in limbo.

 

Sitting here in limbo, like a bird without a song
Sitting here in limbo, but I know it won't be long
Well, they're putting up resistance
But I know my faith will lead me on

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the tide to flow
Sitting here in limbo, knowing that I have to go
Well, they're putting up resistance
But I know my faith will lead me on

I don't know what life will show me
But I know what I've seen
I can't see where life will lead me
But I know where I've been

Tried my hand at love and friendship
But all that is passed and gone
This little boy is moving on

Sitting here in limbo, waiting for the dice to roll
Sitting here in limbo, got some time to search my soul
Well, they're putting up resistance
But I know my faith will lead me on

I don't know what life will show me
But I know what I've seen
I can't see where life will lead me
But I know where I've been

Tried my hand at love and friendship
But all that is passed and gone
This little boy is moving on

Sitting here in limbo, waiting for the dice to roll
Sitting here in limbo, got some time to search my soul
Well, they're putting up resistance
But I know my faith will lead me on

Well, they're putting up resistance
But I know my faith will lead me on

enough said..

Read more: Jerry Garcia - Sittin' Here In Limbo Lyrics | MetroLyrics



Illusory walls

 

Only Saba!!!

 

 

  

Only Jerusalem!!!

 

 

When someone wants to serve God or travel to the true Tzaddik, he is bound to face obstacles. Each person imagines that the obstacles he faces are greater than those facing others and finds it hard to withstand them. But no-one is ever confronted with obstacles that are beyond his ability to overcome if he really wants. The truth is that there is no obstacle at all, because God is present, albeit veiled, in the very obstacle itself.

The greatest of all barriers are those in the mind - when the person is divided from God or from the Tzaddik in his own mind and heart. A person may have come to the Tzaddik despite all the physical obstacles. But if some small doubt about the Tzaddik then arises in his mind, causing his heart to falter, this is the greatest obstacle of all. Similarly, a person encounters many obstacles when he wants to pray. However, if after overcoming them all he is ready to pray but his heart is contorted and turned away from God, this is the greatest obstacle of all.

The Baal Shem Tov told a parable about a king who left a great treasure in a certain place, surrounding it with all kinds of illusory walls. When people came to these walls, they thought they were real and that it would be very hard to break through. Some retreated immediately; others broke through one wall but could not break through the second. A few broke through more walls, but no- one could break through them all. Until the king's son came and said: "I know that all these walls are pure illusions and the truth is that there is no wall at all!" He went forward confidently until he overcame them all.

All the obstacles and temptations standing in the way of true fear of heaven are illusory walls. Be courageous and strong-hearted! All the apparent obstacles, such as financial and other material constraints or opposition from others, will disappear if you are determined and courageous in your quest for God.

Likutey Moharan II, 46

 

 

May God Help us all come to the tzaddik! 

Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman! 

 

NNNNM, To Jerusalem I'm calling!!!!!!!

 " There will come a time when everyone will ask “where is the petek? And where is the Baal petek?" And there will be a very long line and I will sit in my palace"
-Song of Redemption-

 

So what has been up lately? I am working very, very, very hard on trying to get the funds together to make it, to Saba for Rosh Hashana!!!! It looks like it is actually going to happen this year!!! I am soooo excited!!! It all depends if I can get the money!!! I am hoping!!! I plan to go for 10 days, not near as long as I would like but Rebbe Nachman said "A little is also good"... I hope to stay with nanachs while I am there... I do not have money for a hotel, and also I would like to experience nanach day to day life! I also hope to do some hafatza if possible.. Also the kotel, R' Shimon Bar Yochai's grave, the arizal's grave, and just have fun and BE HAPPY!!! I am always happy to hear any new ideas on what to do cause I have no idea!!! Also, if you have a place we can stay a day or so please fb me. It will be both my wife and I coming.. I do have a friend working on staying accommodations for me but I don't know if has figured anything out yet... so if you have the space and are willing please let me know... I may already have somewhere to stay, but I am unsure...

 

Anway looking forward to new beginings!!!

Nanach!!!

 

Yaakov

 

 

 

Tears

"Though He slay me I will trust in Him."

-Job-

Ok... If you do not know my story please go to my very first blog post here... http://nanachnoahidetojudaism.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-little-background-information.html

and here http://nanachnoahidetojudaism.blogspot.com/2012/09/immersion-into-holiness-holy-of-holies.html

Ok so maybe I am crazy... it certainly seems that way!! I am in such a prison... Once can not imagine the deapth of my pain!!! Fanatic fine maybe but I cannot help it! Who in the world can one love as much as my G-d! None it is not even a little possible!

Hashem has stolen my heart!!! One says to be faithful in a marriage but when the love of your life, is the G-d of the world how can it compare? Doesn't that sound wonderful? I assure you however it is not! I live in prison! In constant torture! Surely my sins I being purified! Oh for all my sins it would cost me my whole life! God my love and king have mercy on me!

The orthodox will not have me, And the conservative I cant get a conversoin with cause it wont be vailid? Why? And even if I did it truly is not possible to keep the whole torah not in a communtiy and not married to a Jew with at Jewish family...

Do I sound ungrateful? Like a bad Husband or father!? I promise I love them all! With my whole heart just as well... Or else why would I still be here in this place... Oh God the pain is great, but still I love... Have mecy on me God of my life and love of my heart and deliver me from this prison!!!

Do I sound a bit dramatic??? Maybe I am exagerating!? Let me ask you does the spirit of the words I speak, seem to be so? Oh my heart is broken... I feel as nothing is left.... Oh God save me..

"Though He slay me I will trust in Him."
-Job-

Yaakov

Slay the Evil Inclination

 

I see that the main point is self-sacrifice for G-d, for the Torah. Wisdom is also good, but the main point, the basis, the main point of Judaism, of the Torah – is self-sacrifice, the strength of will!

-Saba-

 

The main thing is the will, and not to fall, that is the main thing. Not to despair and not to fall, only to renew oneself at all times. To start anew. To draw close to G-d in truth, with all one’s strength. To overcome with great determination.

-Saba-

 

I saw that the main point is dependent on the heart, according to the will –

-Saba-

Keeping your mind intently focused on your goal can also help you in studying the Torah. For example, you could focus intently on the thought that you want to complete all four sections of the Shulchan Aruch . You could calculate that if you study five pages every day you could complete all four sections in a single year. Picture in your mind exactly how you will go about this course of study. Concentrate so strongly that you are literally obsessed with the thought.

The same approach can also be applied to other studies, such as the Bible or the Talmud and its commentaries. If your desire is strong and your concentration sufficiently intense, your plans will be accomplished.

Sichot Haran #62

 

 

This to me seems can be very applicable to our Yetzer Hara.  I believe honestly that the greatest battle any of us will ever fight is the battle fought within. Saba says "I see that the main point is self-sacrifice for G-d, for the Torah. Wisdom is also good, but the main point, the basis, the main point of Judaism, of the Torah – is self-sacrifice, the strength of will!". The strength of will. It seems so hard but it can be done. we must strengthen ourselves and slay the evil Inclination!!



So many times I find myself falling, and so I get up everyday, and start over only to fall again!! But we must get up.. and keep trying and starting over everyday...

The main thing is the will, and not to fall, that is the main thing. Not to despair and not to fall, only to renew oneself at all times. To start anew. To draw close to G-d in truth, with all one’s strength. To overcome with great determination.

-Saba-

 

It is a battle we must fight, if not it is a battle without a doubt we will lose! We must care! We must strive, we must chop the head off this yetzer hara! We must keep the torah, and fight to keep it everyday, and when we fall we must get up, and if we do finally, finally with Gods help, we WILL SLAY THE EVIL INCLINATION!

 

I believe the story of David and Goliath can definitly be also a representive of the giant task we face overcoming the evil inclination. But with faith in G-d and strengthing of will we can overcome it, we can win.

 

G-d be with us all. Nn!

 

A Jew? A Jew Who?

 

All the words of the Torah are points of advice and ways to be a Jew, we do not know at all what is the great worth of a Jew, just the name “Jew”. As Rabbeinu said in Uman, he was doing hitbodedut* and he prayed to G-d and cried before him: “Master of the World, dear Father, merciful Father, how does one merit to be a Jew?” He was already at such a level, he was already such a genius, such a sage, such a tzaddik….. as much as he served G-d, as much as he did was nothing to him, and there was no one who could compare to him in all history, and he prayed and beseeched G-d: “How does one merit to be a Jew, how does one merit to be a Jew?…..” And he inspired us with every one of his words, with every teaching, how to be Jewish, that is our primary work, that is the essence of life, the essential light – Jewishness. All the Torah is about how to be a Jew, the Torah teaches us how to be a Jew. What is ‘Jewish’? The Torah and the mitzvot*. This is why we are living, this is the main point of life.

-Saba Yisroel-

 

Saba says;

How does one merit to be a Jew? Let's see;

• All the Torah is about how to be a Jew!!

• What is ‘Jewish’? The Torah and the mitzvot!

• the ‘Flowing River, the Source of Wisdom’, who teaches us how to merit to be Jewish. It is all for us, to inform us, to inform the whole world, to each and every one in his home, how to merit to be Jewish!

• revealed to us what is the work that the Jews have to do, what work we have to do – only the work of the Torah and the mitzvot, that is our work.

• These are very hidden matters, but we need to delve into them, to put our hearts and minds in the books, ‘Likutey Moharan’*, ‘Likutey Tefilot’*, ‘Sippurei Ma’asiot’*, to read them and to serve G-d. What other work do we have? Only Torah and prayer!” I saw Rabbi Israel Karduner, how he was so very attached to Rabbeinu, to ‘Likutey Moharan’, he learned the lessons of ‘Likutey Moharan’ which all shed wondrous light on how to be a Jew. I saw all through the night, someone wandering from place to place, all through the room, now I know who this is. He speaks only about the Torah and the mitzvot* and all his strength, all his wisdom was how to merit to be a Jew, how to merit to fulfill the Torah and the mitzvot. This is our work in this world…..

OK, I think this is enough for now.. I as most of you, if not all of you who have been following my blog know, I am a nanach! I very much want to convet to Judaism, My wife however does not... It is very hard to keep the torah, once I convert if I am married to a non-Jew. I don't know how one can be Jewish in my situation! But I know Saba says; To merit to be a Jew, keep the torah!!!! So I intend on doing hibididut not giving up on begging to G-d for my situation to change. All the partriachs wives were barren, why? cause G-d desires the prayers of the righteous. Not to call myself righteous, that is not the point, the point is maybe G-d desires my prayers and so maybe I pray enough and keep torah the best I can and G-d will open conversion for me some how...

much peace friends!

Saba Hamelech!
NNNNM!

Yaakov